I am (not) The Plow King!!!

Once again I am behind in my posts, so I'll summarize to date as best I can...

(8/1) Practice happened again. Skatie Kat joined forces with The Whip help direct the circus of misery, and was an excellent resource for seeing how the things we were doing looked when done correctly. Captain Obvious, having recently failed a durability test involving him, a car, and asphalt (seriously though, get better soon), was an extra set of eyes offering encouragement and input along with one of our newest members who is getting skates/gear the middle of this month.

Because we have aspirations of someday bouting LCC, and by someday I mean mid September, The Whip and Skatie pushed us through the skill assessment list, but not before my least favorite endurance drill ever. The 50 in 15! Fifty laps around the outside of the track, Speed Bump seems to like this one (because he can do it... healthy bastard) and once again led the charge. I kept pace with the fast group for the first 10-12 laps before admitting I was a failure on wheels and shifted to inside the track where I kept skating for the remainder of the 15 minutes. After the Bataan Death March on wheels we circled up and started stretching, then started into the checklist of things I need to work on.

We made it as far as the whips and hip assists before time was up for the day. Plow stops continued to be something that other people do, and some of the stepping stuff (seriously, who walks around in skates...) was awkward to say the least. My cross-body whips were another area that requires immediate improvement, but everything else I did seemed to be up to snuff. And by up to snuff I mean how a person might look if they did it during a seizure.

As the time was winding down, it became apparent to those with the whistles that we hadn't skated enough. 25 laps in 5 minutes, which attainable still isn't something I do for fun. But I completed them once again. Then I cried.

(8/5) Our first outdoor practice this year.
Captain Obvious ran the show for the 4 of us (Myself, Next of Ken, El Guapo, and Stovepipe) who made it, using the area & supplies to try and make the best of our time. Lots of maneuverability and basic skills work. Plow stops still weren't impressive, but I could reliably shed some speed and stop from a slow pace within 20ft. Later, Cupples showed up (OMG!) and ran us through some form skating and more basic skills work. Skating outdoors ~3/5 stars. Skating outdoors in the blistering sun <1/5 stars... El Guapo's super-kickass snakeskin skate boots totally made it all worthwhile though!

(8/7) Endurance practice.
Ever walk through a desert? While walking through that desert did you ever think to yourself "This would be better if I skated across this desert while Skatie Kat constantly told me to skate lower and went 2x as fast as me without breaking a sweat"? Well if you have wondered that I can tell you that it really doesn't make it any better. On the bright side, I did get to work on using my long legs to really get some lengthy strides to achieve (relatively) faster speeds for a given effort level. Also, I did not puke or cry, so I consider the whole thing a success.

(8/8) Practice
Holy crap, we have a full team! 14 people were there, and while some were still fairly new, we had a bench worth of players in the same structure. It felt weird... but in a good way.
SBA pushed us through some warm up exercises and then we were right into the meat & potatoes... The sweaty man-on-man action that is pushing drills. I was paired with Carpe Demon and Bubba Fett during different drills, both of roughly the same weight class. Demon showed me the source of his secret power (besides raw power itself) and we worked on getting a leg in front when steering another player off the track. Once that other player gets a leg in front you are really fighting an uphill battle. If that player is Demon then you are just delaying the inevitable, cause you can only do so much before he cheerfully steers you off the track.
After a handful of similar drills, we scrimmaged. Not that little 4 vs 3 stuff we have done in the past, I mean full on 5 vs 5 scrimmage. It was great, we even got to use the benches. Injured skaters and coaching staff officiated and it was go-time. It felt really good to really scrimmage, even more than our first short-sided versions. Cupples showed up and was good to go, I look forward to watching him & Speed Bump go head to head someday. Pack strategy, communication, and awareness was present on both sides, and we got to see our hard work shaping up. Unfortunately, I took a finger to the eye that almost touched brain (good luck washing that out from under your fingernail!) midway through, which tore a contact and left me with a bit more of a handicap than my standard ineptitude. Since I am about 90% testosterone, confirmed by my very-real doctor I assure you, I got back in the mix a couple jams later and had a blast with no serious decrease in performance.

(8/9) Lane County Concussion Practice
Since we are on mutually good terms with LCC we figured a bunch of us would head down to their practice and roll with them. I had been once before an knew that they were all good skaters with endurance that I would pay good money to get in pill form. They had a pretty good turnout with us there (4 PMRD, 9 LCC skaters, + SBA & Cpt Obvious along to officiate/observe). We started out by doing some core exercises in the center. Each skater called out an exercise and we all did 10-15 of them. Apparently derby involves exercise, which was a shock to some of us PMRD folk. Once we had successfully developed washboard abs, the paceline of doom began. I had seen this before, but that doesn't make experiencing it any less traumatic. LCC's paceline move about half-again as fast as ours often do, and they had some aggressive drills while they burn out the laps. I wasn't going to show weakness by quitting so I hammered down and pushed all the way through, but it was still awfully trying. Apparently more endurance practices are required... damnit.

Once the speed-skate was over sides were chosen and we scrimmaged like nobody's business. I was on the white team with a couple guys I knew from my previous visit while the other 3 PMRD skaters (Demon, NoK, & Bubba) were on the black team. About 3-4 jams into the scrimmage I realized how badly I missed my teammates. Our (PMRD) defense and pack work is very different than theirs (LCC) and playing against our guys without that same support was frustrating. Demon & Bubba continually carved through the pack, moving/leveling anyone who tried to oppose them while NoK continually filled gaps in their lines and held blockers/jammers up as we made attempts to mix things up. At halftime, Speed Dealer noted that the 3-man wall they (black) were building by turn 2 was reliably shutting us down, and we needed to do something about it. Unfortunately for our team (white) by the time we got our tactics working it was too late and the other team had too much of a lead to catch up. Awesome to scrimmage 2 days in a row, but I was wicked sore the next day.

Goal for the weekend: Work on lateral stepping and knock-down blocking.

Giggity

Another fun practice yesterday. Anarchy was at the helm, aided by Faux Paul, and we had a new skater (with gear!) in addition to 6 skaters. Drills, water breaks, and more drills filled the practice. Also, there was some questionably large amounts of sweating going on, much of it by me...

Anarchy started practice out by laying out a goddamn minefield of cones about the track. Some areas were designated as 'sticky-skate weaving' areas, others for toe-stop walks/runs, and a couple other activities that wouldn't be out of place on one of those jacked-up Japanese game shows where the contestants inevitably get beat down by cosplay enthusiasts. We slowly got going on the track, some faster than others, and went through the obstacle course. Good times, and by good times I mean screw plow stops. Once we were warmed/loosened up we got to stretch and then setup shop for some endurance work which involved variations on sticky-skate, cross-overs and squats in regions of the track, and finally built up towards the good stuff...

Now when I say good stuff, I don't mean the drills/skills which are most useful to me, but rather the stuff that I draw pictures of and then stick on the fridge. I may not be good at all of 'the good stuff' but I really enjoy it, even if I feel like it may kill me. First up was some jammer-style toe-stop starts. Now when it comes to skating, I am far from the fastest guy on the team, but this I can get into. I'll never be a jammer, unless they change the rules and you score by having the pack lap the jammer, but being the first one off the line is something I can get on board with. Get low, lean forward and run as hard as you can to avoid face-planting, usually resulting in respectable forward acceleration. Granted, only about half of the team was present, but I was happy to see that I was in the top half of those present, being beaten by Captain Obvious (taller than me, but only 75% the weight) and Beeswhacks (card-carrying skate-ninja and 66% of my bodyweight). Fun stuff, and if I lose weight/get stronger I might be able to challenge them someday... but I'm still not gonna be a jammer.

Later we got to do some hit drills. Unlike our initial hit drills, which more or less relied on using sheer impact force to get results, we worked on specific portions of contact, specifically hip checks and then full body checks. Since I come fully equipped with a 'big-backyard', the hip checks weren't terribly difficult to initiate, but I still need practice to make them particularly useful. Most of my hits felt about a step off for the day, but not the end of the world. We later did some pack work which was helpful for moving around at speed, starting/stopping as a pack, and giving/receiving/observing hits in close quarters.

With only a few minutes to go, and sweat having long since turned my white t-shirt clear, Anarchy declared we were doing the 25-in-5, which I had figured we would have done at the start of practice if it was coming. I figured wrong, so very wrong... The last time I tried I managed 23 laps, which was after nearly 3 weeks off skates. I had spent the last week skating more than usual, and was looking to see some improvement, even if it only meant making 24 laps when I tried again, though trying at the end of a 2-hour practice made me question whether or not I would be able to hold my previous count. Turns out all that extra wheel-time, the new bearings, and the fact that I really didn't want to puke all that water I had just drank came together to push me through. All 25 laps came and went and I can cross that one off the list of required basic skills. Managed to stump out crossovers almost the entire time, even after the left leg turned into dead weight around lap 8. On top of that I didn't hurl all over the track like I thought I was going to. Yay me!


Goal for the week: Practice plow stops until they are actual stops. If necessary, careen towards groups of little kids for motivation to actually stop.

Pack Skate FTW!

So after missing last week's practice to go to CA to compete in the HPVC contest (PSU team took second, best in college history to date) I spent a week hacking and coughing up chunks of lung. When Sunday rolled around I felt more or less like I was ready to skate again, so naturally this would be our first 2-hour practice.

The Whip was late arriving after attending an RCR board meeting just before practice, so Faux Paul took whistle duty and had us doing combinations of pyramid sprints and other general warm-up drills. After about 20 minutes of thinking I might not die The Whip showed up and any foolish hopes of survival were dashed against the rocky coast of her merciless rule.

Apparently in the practice I missed they did more pack drills and I was sorely jealous. This was wasted jealousy. We were handed pennys, and practiced 4 vs 4 for what to do when one side's jammer was in the box. Initially this meant a messy free for all of those who could hit trouncing those who could not. While I still don't feel great hitting, it turns out I can soak up a decent hit without too much effort (thx gravity!), so I really enjoyed this. If your team's jammer was called out in the box your side had to get out front and speed the pack up, and the other team tried to catch one and slow things down. After a couple pile-ups Susan had us just use positional and booty blocking rather than laying each other out. Good times...

Another new drill was what I dubbed the conga line. first we were spaced out at arms length and the rearmost person weaves to the front. After a couple cycles the rear person did self-assists off each person. Then we finally got to do whips. Alternating inside and outside we slung our teammates ahead of us until it was our turn. While I'm a bit heavy to properly get a significant boost from most of my teammates, it works great in reverse. Even The Whip said I was good at giving whips, which I considered a huge success for the day.

Goal for next week: Skate lower so I'm not constantly being told to stay low all practice.

You know you want to...

Are you a guy in Portland, over 21 years old, kept up late at night wondering "Could I play men's roller derby?"

The answer is yes. Yes, you can.

Go to the Portland Men's Roller Derby website to find out information about practices, skill and equipment requirements, and more.

Second Practice

Second practice this week, only 5 of us skating, but also attended the board meeting to be better informed/involved. Learned a lot about our relationship with RCR and got to voice my opinion (despite it's newness in the group) on open questions of interest and goals.

Today Demon asked if we had any special requests for the day and I wanted to do some basic hit drills. Though before we did that I asked about practicing falls and doing squats since they're generally related. So after squats and falls (which I am happy to say I have gotten MUCH better about getting up into motion using my toe-stop from a knee after a single knee fall) we paired up and did basic contact drills. Since many of us had never put a hit on anyone we started with just making legal contact. Not bad, but doing so with any coordination is harder than it looks for sure. A person on the outside was designated the hitter and their partner, conveniently gliding along in the 'derby' position, the one taking the hit. Once we all had a few runs through barely bumping into each other Demon changed it up so the hitter would continuously push their opposite until they were forced out of bounds to the inside, changing up to do it again in opposite roles on the next straight away.

Taking the hit, no problem, sit there and be a trauma sponge until you're forced across the line. Dealing the hit was a real challenge for me. First, I don't feel terribly confident on my skates in close proximity to others just yet so I was quite cautions about accidentally clipping someone's wheel during the line-up and approach. Second, these were my teammates and that always makes me a bit nervous when potentially causing injury. Long story short, I liked the contact drills, but thought my hits/contact was crap. Perhaps this week along the Springwater trail I'll farm a jogger or two for practice... probably not.

Overall, feeling better about the skating, but really need the weather to clear up so I can add outdoor skating to the weekly routine and start building some endurance to prep for the 2-hour practices we hope to move to. I have a nice section of the trail picked out that is a 6-mile round trip from the apartment which should start to really help build up those oddball skating muscles and give me more general skate time.